The Crown

Yesterday I went to the dentist.  I got a crown.  Not the kind with jewels in in that allows me to rule small countries, but the kind that required a huge shot in the mouth a couple of weeks ago to make the "temporary crown".  I don't like going to the dentist, it makes me cringe.  It makes me butt-crawl off the chair even though my head is reclined down to the dentist's ankles.  They give me sunglasses to block the glare of the big light in my eyes and also to protect me from objects that might fly into them. What they really need to give me are ear plugs, because it's the grinding and drilling and scraping that drives me nuts, not the glare of the light..........duh!!

........and since my dentist won't give me laughing gas......(boo!), I had to find my own jokes.


A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious ... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that ... there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"